Iris, I ended up in a state of shock because someone cancelled on me. Why do I react so strongly?

Question

This morning I asked an acquaintance, a friend, if I could visit him next week and then he said that unfortunately he wouldn’t be there that day. And that wasn’t really anything bad in that sense, just that it didn’t fit in with the time. And for me it was such that I ended up in a total state of shock. And I just wanted to know how I could deal with it, when I get such a totally exaggerated reaction to a very small thing. Yes, I don’t know why I ended up in this shock and now I’ve been in a state of shock all day.

Iris

The reason why you react like that is because you have an expectation that you take for granted. Yes, it will be like this. And then when you discover that it’s not going to turn out like this, that expectation collapses in on itself, somehow, when one loses this expectation, when this expectation is destroyed, dissolves into itself, so to speak, then it comes to grief and then leave space, so to speak, so that this grief can flow out, inwards or outwards. That this emptiness, that missing, that not having, is allowed to be there. If you let yourself be as sad as you are, if that is allowed to be, if you become as sad as you become, then something new can happen inside you. When you let these feelings run their course, then you become free to think something new.

Question

Yes, I think that somehow I am so, yes, that it is very morbid when I have such big reactions because of such small things. But yes, I think that’s…

Iris

Don’t judge it. Just let it be the way it is. There’s nothing to compare it to. We are simply different.

Question

Okay, yes, thank you.